Coral of Solitude

Traveling alone, sitting in an almost empty compartment of a train, this thought came to my mind: why are some people happy in the company of themselves while others constantly seek attention from others? And what makes one group of people better at handling situations while making others feel powerless?

Every person contains within itself the will to change his or her situations. As per the Gita, the ability to differentiate between good or bad is what distinguishes humans from animals. However, a majority of the times, situations are not in our control. We can only respond to those situations and our responses trigger a cycle of action and reaction that ultimately become our life. Our habits are formed and developed in this cycle, our character is built in this cycle and we become what we are by virtue of this cycle.

For some people, loneliness is a matter if choice. They stay alone because they find their own company to be the most genuine of all. Sans others, they are at their most peaceful self. At the end, isn’t that the most important thing? The ability to find peace within the chaos that is this world?

For others, staying alone is a matter of chance. Either people avoid these type of beings or their circumstances don’t let them be around favourable company. In any case, they are a result of circumstances, and therefore, must be treated as such.

So, what makes this loneliness, this solitude, a gift for some and a curse to another. In my opinion, the answer lies in how adept one is in dealing with the intricacies of their own mind. I had read it somewhere that the mind is a terrible master but a wonderful slave. Being in control of our mind can present us with situations where we see the optimism even when good doesn’t seem to be obvious. People who make corals of solitude are those who have found the way to control their minds and are at peace with themselves.

However, sometimes, these people also have storms brewing within. Storms that others may have no idea about. Storms that only they know exist and storms which they are determined to face themselves without any help from others. Look around yourself. You will find these people everywhere you see them. However, it is hard to distinguish them from your average Ramesh. This may be the man sitting quietly at the bar, sipping his favourite brew. This may be the woman reading a book in a crowded train while on her way to work. As long as they can control their storms, the gale wouldn’t hurt others. However, it becomes terrifying for the people whom they love, people who care about them if this gale ever comes out.

As a human being, I have found this coral of solitude to be both a blessing and a curse. Blessing, because it gives me time to think about the direction in which my life is heading. I can deeply analyze the areas of my being where I feel there is something lacking. Be it relationships, be it work or be it myself, it is always blessing when you do not have others pointing out flaws in yourself when you yourself are deeply critical. You can reflect upon, analyze and identify the areas where work needs to be done. Post that, you can come up with a plan to address all the areas. Thus, you use this blessing to emerge as a better version of yourself.

However, this coral becomes a curse when you are unable to find a vent for your emotions. Both the mind and the heart guide us, as human beings. However, when one tries to overpower the other, conflict arises and chaos ensures. As social beings, even we feel the need to talk to someone, to hear them, to identify with others and have a feeling of belonging in a group. We cannot do so unless we cross a barrier in our own minds about allowing anyone to breach our protective mechanisms and let themselves in. This conflict, of whether to allow someone onside or not, weighing the pros and cons of letting anyone inside our sanctuary, is the root of this curse.

In the end, it all depends on how well we can control our minds and hearts. With a balance between the two, we can make the best out of any situation, seeing them for what they are and adding our perspective to it. And with this balance, we create the harmony that is so essential for peace, our ultimate goal.