How Do I Feel?

Valentine’s Day is approaching. How am I feeling? Pretty good question.

I wouldn't put myself in the category of blokes who are downright ugly. Let me tell you, I am way better than them. This makes me wonder why am I still feeling lonely. Another good question.

Let me introspect first. How am I feeling right now. Bored ? Kind of. I know I have a lot of work to do. I even have a checklist that will enable me to carry out my tasks. Yet, I don’t feel like doing anything. Feel. That is the keyword here.

So, how do I feel? We have taken into account boredom. What’s next. Let’s see. I think I would say that I am agitated too. I feel agitated because…… I am at a loss of words here. Let me introspect again. Ummmm…. I guess that fact that I need to do a lot yet I am unwilling to do so coupled with the fact that I am still single, has something to do with this. I guess that is the root of my misery right now. I am usually a vibrant person. Quite active, and certainly not lazy. I know my priorities, yet I feel downtrodden.

Feelings. Bloody stupid, retarded things. They can make one feel joyous and stupid at the same time. And trust me, their striking at the most unusual and unexpected of times is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. They are a camouflage and a weapon, both at the same time. And as per a famous best-selling author, how you feel presently determines what you will receive in the future. It is a vicious cycle.

As for me, I think writing this piece certainly helped. I tried talking to my colleagues, but I believe they all are dealing with their own set of “feelings”. It is ironic how someone can feel so loved while working alone in the middle of nowhere, whereas someone else might feel so alone in the middle of hundreds.

I intended this piece to be a diary entry, but it will just rot in there and no one will ever read it. Here, however, I have a chance to share it with you. And in case you “feel” anything after reading this, feel free to let me know.